She’s asking the questions for herself as she explores a new of looking at life and experiencing life, but she keeps inviting me to play. Now I hear her voice whispering these questions in my ear even when she’s not around.
Yesterday morning I was looking for a quote to post on Twitter and opened Dawna Markova’s I Will Not Die an Unlived Life
Staying safe. That’s what I remember most about growing up. We played, but we had to be careful, don’t go too far, stay in the yard, don’t play too rough and don’t get dirty.
Sometimes I think I don’t even know how to play, or what it means to play.
In an article at PsychologyToday.com, “The Value of Play” by Peter Gray he lists several characteristics of play.
- Play is self-chosen and self-directed.
- Play is activity in which means are more valued than ends.
- Play has structure, or rules, which are not dictated by physical necessity but emanate from the minds of the players.
- Play is imaginative, non-literal, mentally removed in some way from “real” or “serious” life.
- Play involves an active, alert, but non-stressed frame of mind.
I used to loved to watch my twin nephews play when they were younger, especially when they were between the ages of four and seven. The characteristics I observed in them were the same ones I saw in their little brother, my niece and at the local playground.
These characteristics were:
- Complete immersion in an activity and full engagement.
- Pure joy.
- Laughter.
- Focused intensity.
- Imagination.
- Suspension of reality.
- High energy level.
- Full expression of their emotions (joy, jealousy, anger, hurt feelings)
- And, a varying degree of interest depending on the child and the activity. When they loved the activity it was very apparent and when they didn’t they were only half-heartily engaged or not engaged at all.
The questions now is how do these two sets of play characteristics help me define what it means to engage in play as an adult and how can more play-time or play activities become a part of my life?
I don’t have any answers yet.
Any suggestions?
I think of you as playful, so it’s in there.
Wow! That’s a thought-provoking blog post. I don’t remember playing much as a child, either. Everything was so serious at home and it spilled over into my “social” life, too. I could manage to have some fun, but always felt guilty for it. I love the quote from Dawna Markova’s book. So true.
Play for me as an adult is still difficult, but I’ve gotten a wee bit better about exploring my creative side.
LOL!! LeeAnn. you always make me laugh. Thanks for sharing part of your story.
Hugs, Sandy
I think the question is – how do I make this fun and playful even when it is a “chore.” Like doing the dishes in the nude, or wearing a boa while I iron or finger painting my next board I intend to vision on or..
My family’s motto was “kids that play have to pay.” – My family modeled being work-o-holics. I have spent the first few chapters in my life on that path and now, I want fun and playful in my life daily… My dog makes me play with her at least 3x’s a day. She gets her ball and won’t take no for an answer. so I have committed to saying “YES” to my life.. Today I am off to the movie store and the dollar store.. May I need some bubbles…
LeeAnn