Sometimes you just have to trust yourself and go with what your own heart says.
Asking for other people’s opinions can be dangerous to your well being, especially in the early stages of building your dreams.
If you are going to solicit other people’s opinions, don’t just ask anybody, friends, coworkers, family members. Be very selective. Ask people who understand or at least support what you are doing.
I learned this lesson the hard way a few weeks ago. I was having a great day. I was productive, happy, ideas were flowing like water and I was in the flow. It was magical.
Then I had a new idea, but I wasn’t sure if it was cool, catchy, worth my time. So, instead of just letting the idea sit for awhile and settle into my being I reached out and started asking what other people thought. And, I wasn’t very selective about who I asked. I asked everyone.
Bad idea.
The responses ranged from good, to bad, to ugly.
By that evening, the magic of the day had fallen away. The flow had stopped and I was stuck on a mud bank. I fell into a self-pitying, depressed, woe-is-me, mindset. A place I hate to be.
I wallowed for a bit. Then decided I had to shake it off. Easier said than done. I read, I wrote, I went to bed and when I woke up I had a cup of tea and I breathed.
Then I made a list of reminders for myself about asking for other people’s opinions.
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Be very selective about asking for other people’s opinions.
Some people just like to play devils advocate for fun, not realizing how much it can damage a fragile, new idea, or hurt my feelings.
Some people are so afraid that they have no other possible way to provide feedback other than from a fear based standpoint. It’s about them, not me, but it can still hurt.
Some people just naturally operate from the dark side and have no idea how to give positive feedback. Their opinions are always dark, negative and fearful.
Many of my family and friends never understood me in the past, how could they start now? Again, it’s about them, not me
Not everyone in my circle of family, friends, acquaintances, or Tribe is qualified to give an opinion on what I put out there.
And, not everyone, even the people I carefully select, may not have the time, energy or feel qualified to give me an opinion. It’s about them, not me.
New ideas are fragile and need time to mature before being subjected to the elements.
Never ask for other people’s opinions when I am feeling stressed, overwhelmed or vulnerable.
Never let someone else’s opinion matter more than my own.
The purpose of asking for an outside opinion is to help me play with an idea and to look at it in a new way, not to squash it.
I have the final say whether an idea is good, bad, or ugly.
The most important lesson learned is to always be selective when asking for other people’s opinions.
And, one more thing, please remember, this is just my opinion. (wink) Want to share yours? Leave a reply. 
Yes, we all know “dream-killers.” Learning to trust yourself from the inside out can be difficult, especially if you are getting out of your comfort zone. Often those around us can become uncomfortable at our changes – and their opinions are motivated more by wanting to keep the status quo than being objective about our dream.
And, growing our dream from the inside out develop a deeper relationship with ourselves – we build the muscles of believing in ourselves…
The Divine Cowgirl
http://www.divinecowgirlchronicles.com
In this post, you say, “If you are going to solicit other people’s opinions, don’t just ask anybody, friends, coworkers, family members. Be very selective. Ask people who understand or at least support what you are doing.” I don’t understand this. If you only ask for opinions on people who, “Support what you are doing”, you won’t have an accurate view of reality. I find it very rewarding to ask opinions of people who don’t agree with me on things. Talking to people who don’t agree with you does one of two things:
1. It will make a person understand better why they are right and the person they are talking to is wrong, or,
2. It will help a person, threw reason, realize that their idea or what they believe is wrong. Now i do understand that argument can be a very useless or worthless thing. I would encourage people to not ask the opinion of someone who will argue for the sake of argument or to here their own voice. I would however not shy from an opinion that could be different from the one that I have.
Sandy,
Another great post! And not just for new-dream holders. Even those of us who are well along the path can get easily sidetracked by idea-bashers.
I’d also add that some of the worse naysayers can be one’s prospective (or not)customers. Lately, I’ve been beset by people who shop with no other criteria in mind except price, and my oh my, the abuse I’ve taken because I’m not the cheapest game in town!
As always–a helpful and timely piece.