Five Ways You Can Make a Difference

(This article was originally published in The Dreaming Cafe newsletter, Issue No. 51 Sunday, January 3, 2010.

Five Ways You Can Make a Difference

1. Smile – No matter how you feel, or what is going on, smile. Smile when someone holds the door open for you; greet your children with a smile when they come home from school; smile when the dog pees on the floor; smile when you are standing in the checkout lane at the grocery store; smile while you are brushing your teeth; smile whenever you realize you’re not. You will be amazed at the power of a simple smile.

2. Listen – When someone speaks to you decide to really listen. Don’t think about a story you want to share that relates to what they are talking about, don’t think about what you want to talk about, and don’t drift off. Really listen, repeat back what they’ve said in the form of a question to make sure you heard them correctly, or ask a question that invites them to tell you more. Do this with your children, your spouse, a co-worker, a friend and a stranger and discover how listening makes another person feel important and special, and how it makes you feel.

3. Touch – As social beings we all crave the touch of another human being. All living creatures do. Children who are not held or touched during the first few months of their lives often fail to thrive and may die or grow up severely emotionally and psychologically handicapped. Don’t invade a person’s personal space or touch someone with any form of aggression. A touch should be quick, soft, and barely noticeable, like a gentle breeze. Don’t force it. It should be natural. Try gently touching your child’s head while beading over to see what he/she is drawing for you; reach out to hold your spouses hand while watching a movie together; touch a friends shoulder or arm while speaking; hug your Mom, your Dad, your brother, your sister. The lasting effect of a gentle hug, or touch, can feel like magic.

4. Share – Tell someone, your spouse, child, parent, sibling, friend or co-worker how much having them in your life means to you. Share with them the goodness you see in them; share how much they bring to the world just by being themselves; think of five positive things you can say about the person and share your list with them. Share by telling them verbally or in writing. The mere act of thinking of the other person in a positive way will create a shift inside your own heart and when you share how you feel with the other person, lovingly, honestly and authentically, you may be amazed at the positive shift in your relationship as a whole.

5. Be Kind - We have heard about the power of ‘random acts of kindness’, but how many of us actually practice kindness on a daily basis? Hold the door for someone; let the car racing up next to you merge in front of you; pick up your neighbors trash cans; stop to help if you see someone in distress; do something without the thought of being paid back; make a fresh pot of coffee for your coworkers. Let go of petty grievances. Accept that we are all human, we all make mistakes, we all act without thinking sometimes and that we all have ‘troubles’. Be kind and accepting of one another. Don’t judge. They are so many ways we can be kind towards one another even if it is just smiling, listening, sharing, and touching. Be kind toward yourself first, then allow your kindness to overflow to all those around you.

These are not earth shattering, splashy, ‘let’s save the world’ ways to make a difference. But, if we all adopted just one of these strategies and made it a part of our daily lives imagine what an impact it would have in our homes, our workplaces, our communities and the world.

You can make a difference. The difference starts with you. It starts inside of you. It starts small, like a raindrop, but builds and flows outward like a tidal wave.