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I am going to share a few quirks with you…
I love to write with purple pens.
I love to write on yellow legal pads.
And, I LOVE to write ‘to-do’ lists with a purple pen on a yellow legal pad!!
The power of a ‘to-do’ list is amazing. I can go from feeling scattered and overwhelmed to calm and focused in a matter of minutes.
A purple pen, a yellow legal pad, and a few minutes alone with my thoughts and I can organize my whole week.
I started the practice of making ‘to-do’ lists early in my career after I was promoted and was drowning in project deadlines, requests for help, and my daily workload. I realized that if I just took an hour every Sunday night or Monday morning to organize my week, I would save hours of wasted time as I tried to accomplish what I needed to do in the midst of putting out daily fires.
My ‘to-do’ lists weren’t anything fancy. First I would list every project I was working and underneath each project the steps I needed to take that week. Then I would list any weekly or daily reports that needed to be accomplished. If it was a payroll week, I would add that to the list even though I was pretty sure I wouldn’t forget. Next, I would note any deadlines for each project that were coming up that week and finally I would list any meetings or conference calls, including the day and time.
Feeling calmer and more focused I could review my list to see what was a priority. Sometimes my list was several pages long and no matter how many hours I worked I’d never get it all done. I would put stars next to everything that absolutely had to get done by the end of the week. Then, I would transfer the deadlines, meetings and conference calls to my day-planner. The ‘to-do’ items with no stars would either be delegated to someone else, if possible, or I would let everyone know that we had to push out some dates. Since I had taken the time to organize and prioritize each project and all the related tasks it was very rare that anyone would dispute my decisions. When they did, we’d sit down and decide which of the prioritizes I had decided on could be replaced.
Organizing and prioritizing tasks by using ‘to-do’ lists for years at work really helped me as I began to build my own businesses on the side. Time management became mandatory if I wanted to accomplish everything I wanted.
So, each week I’d make a ‘to-do’ list for my day j-o-b, a ‘to-do’ list for The Dreaming Cafe and a ‘to-do’ list for all the miscellaneous projects I wanted to work on.
Last night I again made my ‘to-do’ list for this week. I am still amazed at it’s power to bring focus to what needs to be done, what wants to be done and what can wait to be done.
I do not know how I would have been able to work and travel, build The Dreaming Cafe, write a weekly newsletter, develop and teach workshops, write daily, develop relationships online and off, and have the time to invest in new passions like art journaling, painting, and web design if it weren’t for the power of a purple pen, a yellow legal pad and a ‘to-do’ list.
Here is a recap of my ‘to-do’ list process:
List every current project I am working on.
Underneath each project list the tasks that need to be taken to complete the project or take it to the next phase.
List any weekly tasks. (Blog posts, newsletter, etc.)
Do I have any deadlines? If so, I list them next to each project or task. These deadlines will often be self-imposed deadlines since this is my business and I am the boss.
I then list any appointments, travel, teleconferences, and meetings that could impact my ability to complete my list.
Finally I review my ‘to-do’ list and note any deadlines and place a star next to the tasks that I need to complete, or want to complete, by the end of the week.
Note: I usually use my previous weeks list of completed and un-completed tasks as a starting point to build my new ‘to-do’ list.
One other quirk I’ll share with you…when I have a really busy week, both personally and professionally, housework and family time has the potential of being neglected. So, on Saturday’s mornings I’ll make an at-home ‘to-do’ list that may include making a run to the dry-cleaners, lunch with my Mom or sister, shopping with my nieces, movies with my nephews, mopping the floors, washing clothes, grocery shopping, dinner out with my husband, etc. I prioritize this list just like I do my other ‘to-do’ lists. I can’t do everything, so making my ‘to-do’ lists helps me to do the important stuff. Needless to say, I have a lot of dust bunnies.
It may seem like I am taking my love of ‘to-do’ lists too far be doing this, but it really has the power to provide me with a sense of calm and helps me remember that sometimes it is okay to let the floors go this week so I can have lunch with my Mom. By having it on my list, and deciding to NOT do it, I can let it go and worry about it next week.
How about you? Do you use ‘to-do’ lists? Do you love them or hate them?
Ever feel like you are fooling yourself and everyone around you?
I did tonight after buying my first watercolors.
I was totally inspired by this video interview: “Creative Juicy Connie”
But, like I said, then I got home, and opened them.
I froze like a deer in the headlights.
Me, an artist?? Who was I fooling? I didn’t even know where to begin. I can’t even draw!!!
I attempted to push past the self doubt and then an old voice in my head said, “Don’t make a mess!”
I couldn’t do it.
I closed the box and put the paints away.
I really HATE being a beginner and not knowing what to do or where to start. The desire is there, but…
I didn’t give up though. I had a need to express myself tonight in some way, shape or form.
Several months ago I discovered the powerful work of Lucia Capacchione, PhD and her art therapy theories of writing and drawing with your non-dominant hand.
So that’s what I did. I got out my colored pencils and some paper and for an hour just let go – using only my left hand, my non-dominant hand.
I felt much better when I was done.
Was it any good?
No.
But, I didn’t intend it to be a work of art.
I intended it to be an expressive art, a visual representation of what I want, but cannot ‘do’ yet.
It is frustrating to be a beginner. But, even as I say that, I am tingling with excitement in anticipation of learning and mastering something new.
In the eyes of those around me and the world…will I ever be a real artist? A documentary film maker? A Yogini? A runner? A healer?
I don’t know.
I do know that in my heart I am all of these things and more.
It took me close to ten years each in my last two professions to reach the level of ‘expert’ or ‘master’.
I have only begun to embrace the callings in my heart to be a writer, artist and entrepreneur and the newest calling-healer.
Six-months versus ten years is a long time.
But, even within these callings, in some areas I am an expert, a master. It is in these areas that I am starting. They are the things I teach and share; they are the trunk of the tree. The new things I am learning and want to learn – they are the new branches and leaves stretching towards the sun and the roots that will grow deeper with time.
I debated with myself about sharing this. It’s personal. And, like I said, it is not work of art. But, like Connie said in her interview “you don’t have to find your voice, you just have to let to out.”
So, here it is…
Hi Everyone.
First, thank you to all my wonderful subscribers who forwarded a copy of The Dreaming Cafe’s newsletter over the last few weeks to be entered to win a copy of “Making a Living Without a Job, revised edition: Winning Ways for Creating Work That You Love”
by Barbara J. Winter.
(For more information visit this post: Making a Living Without a Job)
Second, I want to announce the winners!!!! WooHoo!!
1. Andrea Paul
2. Barbara Kraus
3. Brenda Hobgood
4. Connie Hozvicka
5. Heather Bedell
6. Alexia Petrakos
7. Penny Peterson
8. Lynne Rask
9. Sara Thiibault
10. Z. Sierra
Another surprise, in addition to each book, there will be a secret prize hidden inside each eco-friendly package shipped. You can read more about why I am doing this at “Another Idea”
And, finally, I have one more copy to give away. One random subscriber, new or old, will be randomly selected Saturday, August 29, 2009.
Are you a subscriber? If not, sign up NOW!
The Dreaming Cafe’s newsletter is emailed every Sunday and is designed to be a companion on your creative journey to self-discovery. It is created to inspire, motivate and educate.
I hope you will join me. Subscribe today.
Like many of my readers I work a full-time day j-o-b while devoting most of my free time, energy and money to building my dream of being a writer, artist and entrepreneur.
It can be fun, joyful even, but also exhausting. And, you can give up a lot, too, or I do sometimes– some things I don’t miss, like television viewing, but other things I do, like time with my family, reading, hanging out, eating right, exercise and sleep.
It is a daily commitment to finding balance, recognizing and respecting personal boundaries and honoring the calling to be more, do more and contribute more.
But, occasionally a little guilt sneaks in, like when someone complains that you never have time for them anymore, that you are always busy or that they just don’t understand what you are doing or why.
When this happens to me I try to settle in and ‘be’ with the guilt to see where it is coming from and whether it is valid.
I ask myself, “Am I really neglecting this person by pursuing my dreams, or is it because they are just used to me being available all the time, anytime, to fill the voids in their own lives?”
If you are prone to guilt, if it is a habitual response, it can be difficult not to give into. But, once you have learned to recognize what it is and why it is happening, it is a little easier to deal with.
We all have the right and the obligation really, to live our own lives. We choose to share our lives with people we care about, our spouse, our family and our friends. But, we can’t live someone else’s life for them. We can’t protect them from the pain and suffering or the joys and loves of living.
Our parents, our spouse, our children and our friends all need to live their own lives.
When I refer to living your own life, I am referring to the creative journey to self-discovery; learning who we are and why we are.
We each have our own path to travel, and, even though our paths may cross and we may travel together, the journey itself is a solo one.
But, even when we recognize the truth of these statements, an event can occur that triggers an avalanche of guilt that can threaten to bury us, and makes us question these beliefs.
Am I too self absorbed? Am I being selfish by putting my own needs and dreams first? Am I blindly doing what I want instead of what I need to be doing? Am I neglecting [insert name] or are they too dependent on me because they have no dream of their own?
The guilt and anxiety caused by this internal interrogation and questioning of our actions and motives can be gut-wrenching and painful. Old emotional responses may explode to the surface. Old reactionary behaviors may have you saying or doing things before you even realize what is happening.
This is what happened to me last week. I received some potential bad news that totally knocked the wind out of my sails.
I questioned everything I had done up to this point and everything I am was planning and working toward for the future.
I was nearly immobilized for a few days. My first response was to quit, pack it all in. I felt as if I had only two choices-give up and devote myself to this situation and the people involved or selfishly pursue my own goals.
I have learned a lot about myself over the last eighteen months. I have learned some new ways of processing the ups and downs, the daily events in my life. I have learned that everything life is not an either or choice, that taking care of me is just as important as taking care of others and that it is possible to do both at the same time.
How did I manage the events of last week? How will I manage future ones? How can you?
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Don’t deny or push away what you are feeling. As difficult as it is, you need to let your emotions out. You need to acknowledge and feel what is happening inside of you. This is where ‘being’ and ‘sitting’ with your emotions comes in.
- Don’t ‘do’ anything, or make any rash decisions. Hold off any major decisions until you have had time to calm down.
- Reach out for help, talk to someone, a close friend, your doctor or your therapist.
- Reach out to friends; share some of what you are going through.
- Accept the kindness of others. Sometimes just a few encouraging, supportive words makes everything seem just a little better.
- Take time to meditate or pray.
- Slow down. Don’t try to do much. Take a break. Rest.
- Journal. Write out what you are feeling and experiencing, or draw it, or paint it, or sculpt it. Don’t try to analyze it or sensor it, just get it all out in whatever medium is most comforting to you.
- Take care of yourself. Treat yourself with the same loving kindness you would a friend in need.
- Don’t allow the guilt to convince you to give up on your own life, your own path, your own creative journey to self-discovery.
- You may need to scale back a little, slow down or adjust your plan to accommodate the needs of someone else or to care for someone you love, but don’t give up your dreams.
These are the actions and reminders that worked for me this past week.
Reaching out to others was the hardest, but in the end one of the most important things I did to help me move through the emotional storm.
Overall, it wasn’t easy and some days it still isn’t. But, doing all of these things combined helped me settle down and settle in. They helped me feel calmer, more positive and more hopeful.
Right now I am still doing my thing-writing, creating, taking steps toward the future, while also being there for the people who need me. It is a balancing act, not an exclusive, one or the other choice.
In this moment, today, things are okay.
Have you taken similar steps when you have found yourself in a crisis situation or in the midst of some life altering news? What else did you do?
Thank you for reading, sharing and supporting me on my journey. My deepest hope is that by sharing my journey I can help support you on your own.
Personal note – thank you to old friends and new friends who emailed me or posted a reply on my last post. Your kind words and comforting thoughts made getting through those first few, rough days a little easier.
Love, peace and blessings to you all.
The news hit me like the violent wake of an explosion, picking me up and slamming me into a brick wall. I crumpled to the floor, temporarily unable to breath, unable to move, the pain ripping through my body.
How do I write when I can’t even think? How do I process what is happening when I don’t know the whole truth yet? How do I continue to move forward when my vision is blurred by tears and it feel as if I am being torn apart?
That’s how I have felt for the last two days. Today, I am a little better. I can breath a a little better and I can see a little better. But, the storm is not over and I am afraid it has just begun.
I wrestled with what to say and not say in this post.
One side of me argued, “You are building something here. You are trying to help others. Don’t mess it all up by telling people you are momentarily lost.”
“But, this is part of the journey and I want to be honest.”
“You’re building a business! This could hurt you.”
“No! It is more than a business. I want to help people travel the awakening path and see the world of possibilities open to them. But, this path has both joy and pain and they need to know that we all experience both.”
“But…”
And the internal dialogue continued until I wrote this post.
The news that came on Wednesday is still unfolding and I am not sure where it will end up.
In the meantime, I am resisting my old way of reacting – withdrawing from everyone and everything.
I am reaching out to friends for support, online and off. I am trying to ’sit’ with the emotions and the pain. I am trying to remember to be kind and compassionate with myself. And, today I am doing okay.
Thank you for your ongoing support.
Meta Meditation:
May I be free from inner and outer harm,
May I be happy, peaceful. healthy and strong,
May I take care of myself with joy,
May I hold myself in arms of love,
May I embrace my heart.
May you be free from inner and outer harm,
May you be happy, peaceful. healthy and strong,
May you take care of myself with joy,
May you hold myself in arms of love,
May you embrace my heart.
This is adapted from Carol Spears, “A Lotus For You”, CD.
Staying Motivated and Inspired – Eleven Simple Steps You Can Take
After the initial euphoria of learning something new, or starting a new project or new business it often comes down to just you and ‘it’ working together everyday.
Sometimes you may find your enthusiasm faltering and wonder why you are doing ‘it’ in the first place.
Personally, I have hit this wall a few times over the last few months, but have discovered several ways to get me back on track.
1. Send an email to a friend or mentor – connect with someone who understands what you are going through
I have found several mentors over the last 18-months and met people at workshops and seminars from all over the United States. many of these people I now have the privilege of calling many of them my friends.
2. Get in the conversation – join a social networking site like Twitter or Facebook (or The Dreaming Café Community) and start meeting new and interesting people who share similar interests
3. Attend a seminar or workshop – a great way to meet new people and learn something new or to just tap into the energy of a room full of focused, excited, motivated people
4. Sign up for a teleclass or online workshop– an amazing way to feel connected and re-energized from the comfort of your home
Barbara Winter has some wonderfully informative and inspirational teleclasses – check them out HERE and you can find out more about upcoming online workshops at The Dreaming Cafe by joining our mailing list and subscribing to TDC’s newsletter – sign-up HERE
5. Read for inspiration, knowledge and fun – biographies, how-to books, inspirational fiction, magazines, blogs, etc
6. Sign-up for newsletters from some of your favorite writers, speakers, artists or entrepreneurs – it always amazes me that I find just what I need in my Inbox (or mailbox) when I need it.
Check out the websites listed above and get on their mailing lists…and don’t forget to subscribe to The Dreaming Cafe’s newsletter- HERE.
7. Turn your car into a workshop on wheels and learn while you sit in traffic or drive for miles – listen to audio recordings of workshops, seminars and lectures, and non-fiction books
I have several audio CD’s in my car right now including Guerrilla Marketing in 30-days and Marketing on a Shoestring
8. Take a break – take a nap, sleep in, watch a movie, read a trashy novel, disconnect from all electronic communication for a day
Sometimes I just need to slow down and remind myself to take care of myself.
9. Physical movement – take a walk, run, lift some weights, take a Yoga class – just start moving your body and get your heart pumping and your blood flowing
Again, this is about reminding myself to take care of myself. I tend to live in my head and I forget the rest of me exists.
10. Join a club, association or group related to something you are interested in – Meetup.com is an easy way to find groups in your area and to meet people with similar interests from entrepreneurship to writing to knitting
I have attended a women’s business meeting for entrepreneurs and signed up to attend a writers group meeting.
11. Organize your own group meeting and invite people you know to share what you are doing and learning and invite others to do so, too
I started a Womens’ Creativity Group earlier in the year and although it didn’t work out I connected with some business associates and friends on a new level. I am thinking of starting a new group for creative entrepreneurs.
These are all of the things that have helped me get back on track, reconnect with myself and my goals and dreams and feel motivated and inspired once again.
I am sure you have a few of your own. Leave a reply and share your keys to staying motivated and inspired.
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