Today’s Guest: Jami Yanoski
Jami: What I learned at the Follow Through Camp:
I came to Dodge City because I had a couple of specific ideas that I needed to pursue. I knew I’d have time to work on them this summer in between some other projects. When Alice asked us what our goal was (or I think the question might have been “What do you want from this?”) that was a really hard question for me. Really hard to think about- and I don’t know why. But ultimately, my answer was money. I am purely motivated by income at this point- for this particular idea that I brought with me. For other ideas, it’s not about money because my ultimate job would be to not have a job, just be able to do charity work for “work.” So I learned that YES, sometimes it is about the money and it’s okay to vocalize it and want it.
My other learnings: I think most of us in the workshop this weekend said this at one point or another- we need our people, we need our tribe. I don’t have a good support system here at home, and it’s unfortunate. And I NEED a support system. We all need a support system. It’s really easy for me to give support to other people, but hard for me to say I need it too. I want my tribe, I need my tribe, and I wish I had one here in Colorado. Over the weekend I purposefully did not call anyone at home, or return any phone calls. I did this for several reasons:
1/ No one understands what I’m doing
(“What do you mean you’ve quit your job after 12 years? What do you mean you don’t have health insurance?”)
2/ No one understands WHY I’m doing it
3/ My friends and family don’t GET me or GET where I want to go
4/ I think some just don’t care
Here’s a couple of examples of what’s happened in the last couple of days. I asked my mom to help me with a prototype for my aqua cuffs, because she sews. I specifically said to her “I need to get this done in the next 90 days, if you cannot help me with this, please tell me now and I will ask someone else.” She said “sure, get me something I can rip apart, measure, etc and we’ll see what we can do.” Well, I proceeded to tell her about the weekend and she made all the right comments, then had to get a little dig in at the last moment. And I know, it’s totally automatic and she probably didn’t mean it, but still, she had to just stick that knife a little bit and let the wind out of my sails. She had to bring me down from the little cloud I was on. I was so PISSED, and am STILL pissed. And I don’t even think she knew she did it.
THEN-I went to lunch today with one of my best friends from High School and some other people to celebrate my friends b-day. I was talking to them about being in Kansas last weekend and doing foster care for the Humane Society. NO ONE at the table asked me WHY I was in Kansas, WHY I do foster care- nothing to fuel further conversation. The conversation drifted to their kids, and what their kids were doing, school, etc. So I sat at the table pretty quiet, other than to coo at my friends brand new niece, who was cute as a button. I could have been at home working and saved myself a really crappy meal at On the Border.
Not to brag, but I’m a pretty interesting person. I travel to a lot of places, I do a lot of things, I have an active social life, concerts, dance, plays, I read- there’s A WHOLE HELLUVA LOT I can talk about. I was deflated coming home from lunch because I thought “what a waste of time. I have nothing in common with these people.” And guess what–They aren’t members of my tribe. So if ANY of you can offer any insight on HOW to find like minded people close to home, I would appreciate it. Because I meet a lot of people and I still am having a hard time finding MY PEEPS.
Some of you might know I do foster care for the local Humane Society. I take in kittens that aren’t old enough to be adopted and take care of them until they are ready for adoption. I got a group of 4 kittens last night, they were dropped off at the Humane Society in a plastic box with no holes in very hot weather. Luckily, the person that dropped them off made an anonymous phone call to say the kittens were outside. They were all panting and dehydrated by the time they got in the building (How stupid can people be? Seriously!). As I’m typing this, I can hear one of them crying, because he/she can’t find her other siblings or me. She’s lost without his/her tribe!
It is critical to get our support systems in place and to surround ourselves with like-minded people. Our dreams matter. Our ideas matter. Our desire for whatever we are seeking matters. No idea or dream is too big, too small, too dumb, too easy. It all matters and most of all, YOU matter.
Jami,
I thought I was reading about me! My tribe acts the same way – absolutely no support or encouragement. Anytime I try to speak about it they just ignore me and change the subject! It is so hurtful and makes me feel sad. I really wanted to attend Follow Up Camp but wasn’t able to. Anyways, there is a website called http://www.meetup.com that might be helpful to you. It’s where like minded people get together for support and exchange ideas, etc. I plan on looking into it too. Hope this helps….