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When we checked out today my cashier at Whole Foods asked if I wanted to donate one dollar to the Whole Planet Foundation, a micro-loan program that supports entrepreneurs in developing countries. I said yes and one dollar was added to my bill. Subtract out the twenty-cent credit I received for bringing my own bags, and my donation was only eighty-cents.
After checking out we sat down in one of the store booths to enjoy our organic breakfast blend coffee and snacks, a chocolate croissant for me and two oatmeal raisin cookies for my husband. Sitting there I decided I wanted a salad for later. So I left the cart and my husband behind and went back to get salad, and a lemonade. The lemonade was a last minute request from my husband as I walked away.
Checking out, again, I decided to go to the express lane. I only had three items (I had added a can of cherry vanilla soda at the last minute). I heard the cashier ask the man in front of me if he wanted to donate to the Whole Planet Foundation. He said no.
I knew she was going to ask me, too. But, what struck me was how she asked.
The first cashier had asked, “Do you want to donate a dollar to the Whole Planet Foundation?” And I said yes.
The next conversation went a little different when the second cashier asked, “Do you want to donate to the Whole Planet Foundation?”
I smiled, and said, “yes’, knowing the next question.
“How much?”
I knew they had scanable UPC cards for $1 and $5, and since I want to support programs like this I said, “Five Dollars.”
Her face lit up and she thanked me. She was happy and I was happy.
Did you notice the difference?
The first cashier asked me a closed question with only two options, yes or no. I would have donated more, but I wasn’t given the chance.
The second question posed by the second cashier was opened ended and invited me to make my own choice of how much to donate.
Going forward in my business and my life I need to remind myself to ask opened ended questions.
So when I ask myself, “Do I want to write a new blog post today?” I need to remind myself that this is a closed question with only two option, yes and no.
The better question, and the one I will ask myself from now on is, “What am I going to write about today?”
What questions do you ask yourself and others in your personal life and professional life? Are they open or closed ended? How can you change how you frame your questions?
For another example of this technique check out Seth Godin’s blog “The Panhandlers Secret” at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/.
As a side note, I would suggest to Whole Foods to provide additional donation amounts, including an ‘other’ amount and to provide a brochure or postcard with additional information about this organization and how to support it.
Comment on this blog or email me at sandy@thedreamingcafe.com
And, thanks again for another great week. Don’t forget to look for The Dreaming Cafe weekly email message in your INBOX tomorrow. And if you haven’t signed up yet, and joined The Dreaming Cafe community, when will you? email me today, sandy@thedreamingcafe.com
The Dreaming Cafe, Where new friends meet and dreams come true…
(website coming soon, 2009)
The Dreaming Cafe is devoted to educating, motivating and inspiring people via the written word to live their dreams and live their best lives.
A friend of mine recently expressed his desire to start taking pictures again. I have seen some of the pictures he has taken in the past and they are very good. But, even though more than one person has commented on this fact he has never taken his interest seriously, until now.
This afternoon he walked into my office with his new camera, a Sony DCS-H50 9.1 MP Digital with a 15x Optical Zoom. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He held the camera reverently in his hands like it was gold and his eyes sparkled with happiness. He couldn’t stop grinning.
In a single moment I went from being excited for him to being consumed with envy. I wanted a new camera, too, my inner child cried and stomped her feet.
I was confused. Why was I jealous? What was going on?
While I was pondering these thoughts I headed over to my local Borders. They were holding a book a friend of mine had recommended, KALEIDOSCOPE: IDEAS + PROJECTS TO SPARK YOUR CREATIVITY by Suzanne Simanaitis.
It’s a beautiful book. But, I hadn’t gotten past the ‘About Suzanne’ and the ‘Dedication’ before that ugly snake of envy invaded my body again.
Twice in one day? What was going on?
Slowly it came to me.
It wasn’t the camera and it wasn’t the book. It was what they represented. Both people were following their heart and doing what they loved. They had acknowledged the truth of their own desires and had acted on that truth.
My friend bought the camera he wanted so he could indulge his love of taking beautiful pictures. Susanne Simanaitis has not only written a book that supports her creativity and the creativity of others, but she has built a life, a business and a community around that same love.
Like a snowman on a warm and sunny winter day, I felt the envy melt away.
I reminded myself that I too have begun to acknowledge the truth that lives in my heart and to take action. And, that even if the things I love to do are the same as someone else, these things, whether it be writing, taking pictures, or painting, will be expressed in my own unique way according to my heart and my truth. Just because someone else is writing about the same things I am or may have the same business idea as mine, doesn’t mean I should give up. I am building an authentic life based on who I am, not someone like me.
As I write, the ideas, thoughts and stories I share will told in my own voice, in my own way. Not everyone will hear or respond to my voice, but I am not trying to reach everyone, just those that can hear me and want to hear me.
What does your heart call you to do? What things do you love to do, but haven’t acknowledged recently? Is it because someone else is doing it and you think you could never be as good? Remember, you are your first reason for doing anything. If you love to do something, just do it. Have fun. Don’t let the fact that someone else is doing it to stop you.
Comment on this blog or send me an email: sandy@thedreamingcafe.com
The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
By Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica
Reviewed by Sandra M. Dempsey, January 27, 2009
Ken Robinson describes the Element as “the place where the things we love to do and the things we are good at come together.”
Some people discover their things the love, the activities and subjects they are passionate about at a very early age. Ray Charles discovered his love of music, especially the ‘boogie woogie’ sound at the age of three. Other people find their passions later in life, like Maggie Kuhn who helped start the Gray Panthers, a national advocacy group, at the age of sixty-five after she had reached mandatory retirement age and was forced to retiree.
They talk about the importance of mentorship, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of our children and how important it is to help them discover their own Element.
They profile people who have incorporated their Element into their work lives and built their entire careers around it, while also sharing stories of people who pursue their passions on the side or as ‘Pro-Ams’, professional-amateurs.
Discovering and pursuing the Element in your own life means living a happier, more fulfilled existence. When you are fully engaged in an activity that brings you joy and fulfillment, when you find yourself in ‘the flow’, you feel more alive and happy. These feelings carry over into all areas of your life; your family, your work, your community and the world at large.
Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica bring a host of stories alive to demonstrate the life altering and life fulfilling potential of discovering the Element in your own life. Jay-Z (Carter), Julia Child, Arthur C. Clarke, Eric Clapton, Jackie Robinson, Bob Dylan, Matt Groening, and James Earl Jones are just some of the people that are profiled in this easy to read and inspiring book.
What are you reading? Comment below.
I was late for work yesterday because I ‘got lost’ in my dream.
I was up by 330am, meditated for 20 minutes, ate breakfast, showered, dressed and was sitting in my home office writing by 430am.
As I wrote, time seemed to stand still, or fly by, depending on how you look at it.
As I took a sip of my coffee, wondering why it was ice-cold, I caught the clock out of the corner of my eye. 740??? What? Where did the time go?
I quickly saved my work and shut my computer down all the while trying to shift gears and move back into reality.
You see, that’s what writing does for me. It takes me away into another world, a world where time doesn’t exist. I feel light, free and a joyous buoyancy that radiates out from my heart and fills my whole being. I am in every moment, and every moment is within me.
There are other activities that take me into this mindful, dream like state: spending time with my nieces and nephews, reading, researching answers and solving problems, brainstorming and developing new business ideas, designing the layout for my website, finding that one line of code that will completely alter the appearance of my site, hanging out with friends, cooking, meditating.
These activities bring me great joy and what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, PhD, former head of the department of psychology at the University of Chicago, identifies as being in the ‘flow’.
What activities in your life allow you to be in the ‘flow’? What activities make you fell more alive, happy, fulfilled, loved? How often to you allow yourself to engage in these activities and experiencing these feelings?
Think about it. Play with the idea. Keep a little notebook with you and whenever you feel like you are waking up from a dream, or time as stood still or flown by, record what you are feeling and what you were doing. Begin to recognize the things you love to do and make them a daily part of your life.
To have healthy teeth you have to brush them at least once a day. To have a healthy ‘you’, you have to spend a little time each day in the ‘flow’.
You can post you comments on this blog or email me at sandy@thedreamingcafe.com
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My Twitter ID is SandyDFromNJ.
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It takes a little while to get used to. But, its fun. Give it a try.
I LOVE ideas and dreams. I love to think about problems and brainstorm solutions. Ideas are what dreams are made of. But, I have discovered something I love more than ideas and dreams…turning them into reality!
Over the years I have dreamed of being a writer, helping people, making a difference in the world, and supporting myself by working for myself. I’ve spent countless fun hours brainstorming ideas around what these goals mean to me and how to integrate them into my life.
But, over the last twelve months I realized that I although I was having fun playing with my ideas and dreams in my head and on on paper, I was no closer to turning them into a reality in 2008 than I was in 1998 or 1988.
So, on December 31, 2008 I decided to accelerate The FUN Factor in my life and begin turning my ideas, dreams and goals into reality. Over the last eight weeks I have accelerated my FUN factor ten fold. I never realized that I could have so much FUN!!
How? Just by taking one little action every day.
Writing...I entered Shelia Bender’s Personal Essay No Contest Contest. The deadline was December 31st and I wrote and submitted my essay on the same day. This was the first time in over twenty-five years I had even considered allowing anyone to read my writing. This was a little step, but a huge leap. I write every day. I am taking an online writing class with Sheila Bender and I have signed up for a six-week Writers Critique group that starts Saturday. All little steps toward one big dream.
Helping people & making a difference…I started a Women’s Creativity group and invited a few woman acquaintances to join. My goal…to create a supportive, non-judgmental arena where we could express our dreams and goals and help each other achieve them. I am both a participant and the facilitator of the group so I get the benefits of teaching and helping others while also being supported in the pursuit of my own dreams.
And, combining writing and helping people/making a difference with my dream of Supporting myself by working for myself…this is still in the works. I work FT in the ‘real world’ and will continue to do so for awhile. But, I am also taking one little step everyday toward turning this idea, this dream into a reality. The Dreaming Cafe is one idea that morphed into a dream. This blog is one step. The weekly email message I send out from The Dreaming Cafe is another step. (you can sign up by emailing me at sandy@thedreamingcafe.com). Building The Dreaming Cafe website is another step. Little steps, everyday.
What are your dreams? What ideas do you have that you’d like to turn into a reality?
Make a list and take one little step each day toward one of your ideas and experience a the FUN Factor of turning ideas and dreams into reality.
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